


It's The Never Knowing That Keeps This Going

by JJ_Hill



Category: CP Coulter - Fandom, CP Coulter's Dalton - Fandom, Dalton Academy Series, Dalton Fic, Glee
Genre: Jogan - Freeform, Jogan Gondola, Larythe, Larythe Shuttle, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-11
Updated: 2013-02-11
Packaged: 2017-11-28 22:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJ_Hill/pseuds/JJ_Hill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Julian Larson and Sebastian Smythe agreed to put Paris behind them if the deal was left unbroken. Time passes and Sebastian hears of an accident that had occurred at Dalton Academy, Julian's school. It is only then does he realize the consequence of his lack of action.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's The Never Knowing That Keeps This Going

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to my tumblr.
> 
> Welp, this is kind of a long one, but once I started writing, the words wouldn’t stop coming. My own writing usually doesn’t usually depress me, but this one did, so I’m warning you now, it’s sad. 
> 
> Title taken from the song “Postcard from Paris” by The Band Perry. 
> 
> Warnings for casual mentions of sex but there is no actual smut (But its Sebastian, what do you expect?).

_It’s the Never Knowing that Keeps this Going_

It was February and the sounds of rain and sleet could be heard hitting the curtain covered windows of Sebastian’s room. The sole occupant was lounging on his bed, phone in hand, the TV mounted on the wall on, but the volume low, not being paid attention to as the popular show  _Something Damaged_ played on the screen.

Sebastian Smythe was lying on his back, one head resting behind his head, the other holding his phone above his face, thumb flicking though unanswered texts, a frown on his face. The room was dark, save the light from the TV casting a soft glow around the room and the cell phone screen illuminating the boy’s face.

 After a few long minutes, Sebastian’s frown becoming more pronounced as he read further, he tossed the phone aside closed his eyes, a long sigh escaping between his parted lips. It had been a long six weeks, and they day just seemed to be getting longer and longer, dragging on with a mundane normality that hadn’t been there in the days leading up the Christmas.

Before the then, before the time he liked to think of as “the days of Sebastian and Julian,” Sebastian had been carefree as ever, spending his nights in crowed clubs dancing with stunning boys whose names he never cared to know, grinding up against them to the beat of the bass thumping though the large speakers new the DJ booth or else hidden in the ceilings. If the boys were attractive enough, then he’d take drag them into the bathroom for a quick round or two, then, if they were lucky, back to his temporary lovers home for several more rounds before the sun rose the next morning, the tall teenager always sneaking away in the early hours of the morning while his conquest slept, never to be seen again.         

But six weeks ago, all that had changed.

Six weeks ago Julian Larson appeared.

It had been an off night for Sebastian. He had gone out as usual, consumed as usual, but was drunk and slightly disorientated courtesy of the several extra beers he normally wouldn’t have consumed if he night’s selection of willing boys had been to the quality Sebastian had become accustom to.  Disappointed (and wanting to ditch his lover from a few nights before who had been hinting toward another night together), Sebastian had left the club, not in the right mind to hail a cab to take him home. It hadn’t been that late in the evening, several adults, mainly couples were still out and about, taking in the romance of the city that normally made Sebastian gag, but the daytime crowds of tourists and residents alike had long since dissipated.

The mostly empty streets were illuminated by storefronts and the streetlights placed every several yards, lining each side of the roadways symmetrically, but none were as bright as the gleaning tower to Sebastian’s left, the lights of the famous landmark glittering twice in the cool night, once on the tower itself and once reflected in the slowing moving waters of the Seine River flowing under Sebastian feet.

Captivated by the sight, the teen, ran to the side of the bridge to get a closer look.

It was a completely stupid plan, one Sebastian wouldn’t have concocted, let alone acted on had he been sober. However, in his drunken state, jumping off the side of the bridge in a vain attempt to get closer to the lights seemed like a good idea.

It was at the moment when the voice called out to him….

Sebastian sat upright as this particular memory. He was not going to relive these particular memories, not now, not ever; Sebastian Smythe was not a teenage girl and he wasn’t going to dwell in the past like one. It was time to man up, time to get over it and screw a bunch of random guys, the leave them behind.

But it wasn’t that easy.

He had tried. He had tried to go back to that lifestyle, tried to forget all that had happened, loosing himself in the pleasure that another warm body could give him, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t the same. Random club hook ups couldn’t compare to the things Julian had given him, the thing that had running through the streets of Paris, after a boy who had come out of nowhere and changed Sebastian’s life forever.

The storm outside was getting louder, wind driving the rain to hit the side of the house with greater forcer than before. Inside, where it was warm and dry, Sebastian found himself remembering Julian’s odd fixation with the rain, and he absentmindedly stood from his bed to open the window, the outside noise becoming more definite as the wind whistled through the screen, whipping in Sebastian’s face, reminiscent of the night they met.

Still lost in thought, the boy sat as his desk and pulled out an empty notebook and a pen, flipping the plastic cover of the pad open with his free hand, his other holding the pen to his lips so he could bite off the cap, spitting it back onto the polished wooden work surface.

Sebastian was going to force himself to get over Julian and step number one was to cut off all contact with him, no more texts, no matter how meaningless they were.

_February 12_

_I don’t know how you could go back to that swill they call coffee in the states, maybe it’s just me, but that shit Starbucks serves up has no right to be called coffee._

It would have to do for now. Instead of texting Julian, he would write his thoughts down in the notebook, the ink on the pages hidden from the world, never to be seen by anyone.

_February 14_

_It’s Valentine’s Day, and all I see are these sappy couples that make me sick. The City of Love DOES NOT make things any more romantic despite what people say._

_February 15_

_Scratch that, there is one good thing that comes out of that godforsaken day considered a holiday. Discount macaroons. The Café’s here make them by the thousands and sell the ones they didn’t the day before, for cheap. Score!_

_February 16_

_That guy you saved me from a few months ago at the club, I saw him again. Just as annoying as the last time, just as bad of a lay as last time. Where the hell did all the hot guys go?_

_February 20_

_Met a guy tonight, thought he knew everything, I proved him wrong. I don’t think he’s ever going to want to top again after what I did to him. Not sorry._

_February 26_

_Worst hangover in the history of the world, enough coffee to fill the Atlantic would be enough to help._

_February 26_

_My head still fucking hurts. What the hell?_

_March 5_

_I don’t understand why they make us go to school, it’s pointless. Too bad my parent’s won’t let me test out. At least that school of your sounded interesting, not that you told me much about it._

_March 9_

_I’ve been reconsidering that school thing, at least the schools here allow you to wear whatever the hell we want within reason. Then again, I can make anything look hot, even that blazer ;)_

_March 20_

_Thank god, the snow and sleet is all gone; unfortunately, that means I can’t laugh at the people who slip in it. Oh well._

_March 30_

_There are three things I can’t live without, Coffee, Music and a good romp between the sheets._

_April 1_

_Some poor fucker thought it would be fun to pull an April Fool’s day prank on me. I think he had to go to the emergency room._

By April, Sebastian was getting better; he no longer felt the need to write things down in the notebook, any thoughts of Julian were quickly pushed aside in favor for more pressing matters. School, his future and more personal pleasures now occupied the forefront of Sebastian’s mind, just as they had before, just how they should be.

It was around the time that he was considering burning the thing, getting rid of all traces of his affection for the Hollywood diva, that he received the news.

There had been an accident that Dalton Academy, a vicious stalker had taken several students hostage, set fire to a building where his prisoners had been taken hostage and several more students had run in, desperate to rescue their friends.

Logan Wright, son of a US Senator from New York, Julian’s best friend, the object of the brunette’s long time affection; Evan and Ethan Brightman, the demonic twins who had only been mentioned in passing; Blaine Anderson, and ex of Logan’s who had also been mentioned once or twice and countless other’s including Julian himself had been involved, caught in the hell storm that had occurred whilst the parents of students had been on campus. The calamity of the situation was causing a ruckus not just domestically, but internationally as well, but the biggest story was not the stalker, or the damage to the school or the fact that something so serious was allowed to happen without the administration getting any wind of what was going on until it was too late.

It was the fact that a body had been recovered from the remains of the burned down building.

The blogosphere was going crazy; the Julian Larson dedicated here holding vigil (near their computers of course, just in case any news was reported), convinced that their angel was the one dead, killed at a school that prided itself on being a safe haven for its students.

Sebastian was amongst those who was convinced that Julian was dead, but it wasn’t until his brother snapped at him, telling his younger sibling to actually pay attention to the world around him and watch the news that was on, that he comprehended that Julian was alive, in a coma and unresponsive, but alive and breathing.

He didn’t know what to do after that. Did he fly to Ohio and stalk the hospital, hoping to talk to someone who could give him more information? No, he couldn’t do that, no one would believe him and he’d probably be arrested for stalking. But he couldn’t just sit there could he? Julian, the one who changed everything with his easy going smile and good looks, might not ever regain consciences.

He had to do something, but what?

Sighing, he looked at the phone in his hand. Could he? After weeks of no contact, could he do this?

With shaking fingers, he unlocked his phone and brought up his texts, typing out a message.      

_To: Julian Larson_  
 _From: Sebastian Smythe  
_ _4/16 5:29 PM_

_I know I broke it off, but I was there. I was late, but I was there and god I wish I had caught you before your flight. I miss you Julian, I know, I know, stopping the one form of communication between us doesn’t prove that I miss you, but you fucking scare me. What I felt when you were here, what I feel after you left and what I’m feeling now, when I may never get to talk to you again, it fucking scares the shit out of me, and I ran. I think, hope, that you of all people know why I did. I just need to know that you’re okay. I won’t believe that you are, no matter how credible the news station, even ifs a fucking statement on twitter by one of your managers or agents, I won’t believe that you’re alive and safe until you personally text me back. Please, I’m begging you, there is so much that we need to talk about._

_I miss you._

Days and weeks passed, the end of the school year came and still nothing came; news of Julian’s recovery flooded the internet, interviews from the actor himself were posted to YouTube and reblogged my thousands of fan girls on tumblr, but Sebastian heard no word from Julian.  _Give it time,_ Sebastian thought,  _he’s busy. Julian has a life and so do you._ He continued to go on with his daily life, but each night Sebastian fell asleep with this phone in his hand, checking his messages the right before he fell asleep and the first thing right in morning when he woke up. Still nothing.

It was the day Sebastian decided to try again, thinking that Julian’s phone had been lost in the fire and he had never gotten Sebastian’s text, when he saw the story.

**_Young Hollywood Actor Julian Larson Comes Out_ **

_Award winning actor Julian Larson, 17, has released a statement via twitter today that he is indeed bisexual, confirming several rumors that had been floating about for the past few months._

_Via @JulianLarson on twitter—_

**Yes guys it’s true, I am indeed Bisexual; I truly hope that this will not change anyone’s mind about me as my sexuality has nothing to do with my abilities as an… (cont)**

**Actor and I would like to thank all the fans that have supported me over the years. My boyfriend and I appreciate all of your support.**

Sebastian froze when he read the word “boyfriend” and scrolled further down, ignoring the rest of the article, stopping at an image of Julian and a familiar blonde kissing, Logan’s hand cupping Julian’s face. Heartbroken, Sebastian turned off the computer and pulled out his phone with trembling hands, deleting his conversations with Julian and after a moment’s hesitation, the actor’s number.

After tossing his phone aside, Sebastian unearthed the notebook from a pile of books and papers stacked neatly in a desk drawer, hidden away in plain sight. He hesitated once more, intending on shredding the thing, as he should have all those weeks ago when he thought he had gotten over any linger affection that had him missing Julian. But he didn’t. Sebastian set the notebook down and flipped to a new page, grabbing a pen.

_June 27_

_I should have told you this sooner, but I love you._


End file.
